On 40mg x 20

I brought with me a whole box of green tea this morning and drank all the bags by 5pm. There is something unsettling about how the caffeine does not hit me, does not slap my eyes open the way I would ask for it, if it would only care to satisfy me. Please. Harder.

My face feels like velvet and I realize I've been breaking to hold my head in my hands throughout the day. I wonder if the feeling is secreted oil, essential oil, or the wax drippings that quicken from the candle's two ends. I think of how easily mold grows on coffee. I wonder if mold grows more quickly with caffeine.

I receive an email mentioning catfish roulade, venison tenderloin, butternut squash, salted broth. He writes that after being left alone for a few hours, everything will fall apart in my mouth. Me, "with the good hair and the cute mouth."

It's funny that you can't have tears without tea. Do fortunes count as summer reading? The email ends by not guaranteeing to not let me fall into an abyss of girls.