I am shown how to conceal an object in paper by folding it to conform without tape. I am shown how to tie a piece of ribbon not in a knot nor a bow but in the French way. I don't retain these instructions except for the image of a single movement. The rest I try to bridge my understanding of by using common sense. Common sense as complement to instruction manual.
Why is this knot called the French way?
Why is it called a French kiss?
Marie Antoinette did not say to let them eat cake, nor did she tie her own ribbons, nor did she choose her own husband, nor was she born into the name she died with as her own.
I refuse the cake that is offered to me.
I am wearing French perfume as a by-product of my circumstance. It is complementary to my instructions.
I do not expect to be refused with violence. I find myself bleeding and I cannot stop it.
I do not tie any ribbons onto myself.
When I meet him for lunch I refuse not only the cakes, but the soups and the salads and the sandwiches as well. I try not to mention how wounded I am but I cannot sit down and I cannot stop bleeding.
I try not to think about my wound as a knot coming undone. I do not have anyone untying ribbons inside of me.
He shares with me about the women he's met and is meeting. He shares his excitement with me and I egg him on.
How many eggs do you need for your cake?
Le sang is French for blood, like sanguine, meaning optimistic in a particularly difficult situation.
How many eggs did I have for the name I was born with? How many eggs will I have for the name I will die with?