I am invited to submit a proposal regarding film and video and the avant-garde, the front lines, the resistance of moving image art. The details are to explore a theme of counter-culture in the current zeitgeist, an idea of collectivity and collaboration rather than solidarity as an individual's offer of power. How can we be plural for a singular realpolitik? Whole over the parts, but the whole must be resistant.
The email is addressed to an extended family of artists. I see critics and academics and filmmakers among the emails that include myself. I wonder who I am among these names in an art family: a close first cousin or have I married into a place of otherness?
I think of all my acrid opinions regarding film and video and movies, now.
I think of how my interests have expired in a direct relation to the growth curve of my knowledge.
I think of how I had followed what I had been told was my passion, not by desire but because it seemed to make sense to everyone including myself.
I have not grown bored of my lover, but instead have been exposed to the workings, an ethic I cannot agree with wholly, a system I am tired of trying to work my way into.
Is being unknown the truest form of avant-garde?
Perhaps the most beautiful image is the one inside the camera, captured but undeveloped and therefore exists unseen.
I have a proposal, to write about my desire to write about my resistance to desire my expired lover.
But when did the image ever love me back?
Perhaps the most beautiful image is the one that is not proven to exist.