On Yet a Soliloquoy

I tell him I am sorry I cannot make it to his reading. He says he misses talking to me. I miss keeping my word. I miss words and being kept.

This is the second reading I cancel attending this week. 

I miss showing up and hearing someone else's cadence. I miss leaving to get home to bed.

Talking and reading are opposite actions. Conversing requires attention, reading out loud is a delivery.

I miss the theatre when I held attention. I miss rehearsing more, the casual sock-footed mosey around a black box with no audience. The way we would still have our scripts in our hands. 

Attention can be exhausting to give out with no return. Attention is the opposite of investing when you are the recipient of someone's attention. Investing is not your action when you receive value - such as a currency - handed over from someone.

I miss the one-way investment of receiving someone's praise and applause, in which I am not investing but am instead being the risk.

Play the role of the gamble: double-tap to make a bid, swipe to pocket on credit.

I miss gaining interest.